possible caregiver for my parents
My parents are living in a retirement community in an independent condo. They are 91 (dad) and 86 (mom), my mom has vascular dementia and my dad is still mentally sharp but is getting physically frail.
My situation is unique in the fact that the retirement community they live in has a benevolent fund, which will allow them to stay at the community even if they run out of money as long as they have paid their way for 3 years. They have been there 3 years and now they need to go to assisted living.
But since my mom has dementia, she would have to go to a secure memory unit and dad would have to go to a non-secure assisted living, about a block away.
So they would have to live seperately after 65 years of marriage. I want to bring them into my home, quit my job and take care of them. My other siblings do not want me to take them out of the community for fear that after several years if they need to go to a nursing home and they are out of money, they would get stuck in a low rated nursing home.
My argument is that I can keep them for 5 years before they run out of money and give them a much better quality of life (and keep them together) and there is only a small chance they will need to go to a nursing home and then get stuck in a bad one.
Any thoughts from people who willingly take care of their parents with dementia? What would you do in my situation?